Kevin Salas Archive

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An interview-style date, where you interrogate and trade resumes with each other doesn’t sound like a lot of fun, right? Make a point to take the date on the fun route by loosening up and not taking it so seriously. You normally don’t take women you are not attracted to so seriously which tends to make them feel attracted towards you. Just because she is someone who makes you feel butterflies in your stomach shouldn’t be the reason why you ‘jump the gun’ by inviting her out to everything you do. If you are both ready for an exclusive relationship then it’s okay to hang out often. If logically you know that at this time you can’t commit to it than play to your abundance mentality or lifestyle and do things that don’t always have to involve her.

1. Kiddie Park/ Playground. She should understand that you both could have fun together no matter where you go. The best way to set up this dynamic is by actually doing it rather than saying it. Start out the day by pushing her on the swings. Later, when you are on the couch with her those initial good feelings you gave her will still be attached to the time she spends with you. She will relate fun with you and know that no other guy can make her feel the way you do. You can see who can cross the monkey bars faster, show her your strength by doing a few pull-ups all while playing to the whole elementary school ‘boys vs. girls’ dichotomy. A great first kiss can be had on the mini-bridge if you guys manage to sneak-in after dark it can get really intimate.

2. Take Silly Pictures in front of Monuments/ Movie Posters/ Everywhere. Anything can be silly if you look at it that way. Look for movie posters you can stand in front of and imitate. Look for statues that you can pose with in awkward positions. Cover up certain words on signs to make them say provocative things. Post the pictures up on a social networking site to show that you really care and she will relive those fun moments every time she looks through your photo album.

3. People Watching/ Park Walk/ Beach Volleyball/ Soccer/ Frisbee/ Kite Flying. Watching people in a high-traffic environment allows for many conversational topics to arise. Sit with her and make split-second decisions about what this person is thinking, where they are going and what they do for a living. If you see a guy holding flowers wearing shorts and sandals he probably is going on a first date to the beach. There are no right or wrong assumptions, they just allow for you to have fun and take things lightly. You can do the same on the beach and bring along a radio, some snacks and fun beach activities like a kite, frisbee, or beachball.

4. Kmart/ Vintage Store/ Shopping/ Ice cream Judging/ Wine-tasting. Take her to Kmart, Walmart, Target or any huge apartment store that has tons of things to play around with. Tell her you have to so some shopping and she can come a long with you. You can challenge her to the free video games, throw a football at her, hula-hoop battle and let her buy anything she wants for a dollar and twenty-five cents. At the vintage store you can try on ridiculous looking clothes and even take silly pictures. You guys can also go out and be the judge of certain things like wine or ice cream. It’s a great way to show that you stick by your opinions while still being open to experiencing new things.

5. Extreme Sports/ Bungee/ Sky-diving/ Road Trip/ Trapeze Lessons/ Helicopter or Small Plane Ride/ Parasailing/ Surfing/ Wakeboarding. This may be a bit out of her repertoire, yet it’s a great way to test to see if a girl is willing to let go and enjoy any and everything life has to offer. A road-trip can be great if you have plans to stop many places and befriend many people along the way demonstrating savoir fare (the ability to make everyone your best friend regardless of race, religion or creed).

Ultimately, eliciting emotions from her while you are together will cause her to think about you whenever she feels or wants to feel great again. These are all just ideas that you can use as a springboard to develop your own date ideas. If you aren’t sure she feels completely comfortable being alone with you invite her out to something you are already doing like an event or party you are already attending with your friends. Make sure to lead this process. Instead of asking her to come out with you tell her to meet you. If you leave it up to her to decide where you guys are going it indicates to her that you can’t lead and have a hard time doing so.

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After getting her number and following up, you find yourself at a new point in the interaction. The first date can be as awkward or as smooth as you make it. It’s up to you to make sure you maintain the fun vibe she found so intriguing from the first time you met. It’s important to know that dates aren’t as intense as they used to be. The standard dinner and movie is evolving into something much more. This is your chance to put a stamp of approval on your relationship and progress forward into a something more intimate.

1. Arcade/ Karaoke/ Danceclub/ Salsa Lessons. Be open to new things. Take the opportunity to try something fun. It may not be something you do regularly with the guys, but taking things too seriously on a first date will make her think you are just passing time to get in her pants. If you are thinking that, than just flat out tell her what you want to do to her. It will save you and her a lot of time. A date is all about being in the moment and enjoying what’s right in front of you. Instead of passing up a game of skee-ball push the ten-year-olds aside and show them how it’s done. This is a great chance for you to elicit her emotions by playfully challenging her to a game of wack-a-mole at your local Chuck E. Cheese. Not only do they make great pizza, they serve beer too. Here is New York there is a bar that comes complete with pool tables, skee-ball, ping-pong tables, chess, foosball, and karaoke. Taking her to a danceclub makes it easy for you not to worry about conversation. You will need to move her to build rapport but it’s a great test for a relationship if you’re the kind of guy who regularly goes out to the club.

2. County Fair/ Street Festival/ Amusement Park/ Rodeo/ Mini-Golf/ Parade/ Make Clay Pottery. Being stuck sitting awkwardly across from each other at a dinner table is going to make light, playful conversation seem artificial. Take her out on a walk through a Street Fair and use the ever-changing environment as a tool for attraction. If you met her at a bar, it’s a great idea to show her who you really in a whole new atmosphere. Cultural events will allow both of you to learn something new together. Growing relationships are lasting relationships, so make sure you are able to accept new ideas so she will feel comfortable growing along side you.

3. Challenger Her to Lazer Tag/ Batting Cages/ Rock Climbing/ Paintball/ Pool/ Water Balloon Fight/ Bowling. Bowling is another chance for you to elicit her emotions through playful competition. You both can give each other silly team names. Teach her how to bowl by gently leading her body. Dance around in your colorful bowling shoes so she will see that you don’t take yourself so seriously and allow her to be enthusiastic around you. If done right, the next time she sees you she will shout your name and jump into your arms. Food and drinks are typically served at a bowling alley and an innocent round of bowling will give you enough time to allow her to trust you.

4. Local Tourist Destination/ Paddle Boat/ Swamp Boat/ et Ski/ Sight-See/ Malls/ Toy Stores/Amazing Views/ Ride the Train/ Zoo/ Hiking/ Planetarium/ Museum/ Bike Riding. Check you local event listings to see what events, parks or tourist destinations your city owns. A lot of these are free of charge and allow you to do something most locals don’t appreciate. You can playfully role-play as if you were on vacation. This pulls both of you out of your daily routine and into a tourist role where most people tend to let loose and let their motives move them. The mall is where I had a lot dates. You can walk around and visit each store for a day full of discovery. Some cool stores are Brookstone or Sharper Image for their free massage chair demos. You can take silly pictures on a Mac in the Apple Store and email them to each other.

5. Comedy Show/ Musicals/ Plays/ Movie Premiere/ Live Band or Concert/ Drive-in Theatre/ Sporting Match. Anyone can go to the theatres but it takes only a bit more effort to stand out from the crowd. Comedy shows are great even on amateur night. Make sure to greet everyone and laugh at even the worst jokes. She will see how you treat people that seem to have lower value than you. She will unconsciously use this to judge how you will treat her during difficult times in your relationship.

Taking things above and beyond can be a bit difficult. Be able to judge what she is comfortable with doing. I know that most girls wouldn’t be thrilled about going to a boxing match. If she’s a sweet heart, treat her to an afternoon picnic complete crust-less peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Most importantly, make sure your date is full of different activities taking place in different places. After your date her friends will ask her all about it. Would you rather her say “He was nice, we went to see a movie” or “He was so much fun, we walked down to the Fair, we road a rollercoaster and he won me this stuffed teddy bear by dunking bozo the clown into a pool of water, it was great.” The latter unconsciously makes her believe she had more than just one date with you and is full of memories she will have a hard time forgetting. Have plans to go more than one place so you both can feel like you spent a lot more time together than you actually did.